32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
