I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
