its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
