I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
