Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry shesanasshole hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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(386): View more from Florida

I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.

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(221): View more from

I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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(914): View more from New York

Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.

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(518): View more from New York

YO. MCGRIDDLES.

Fav 0 506 311
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(850): View more from Florida

We smell like vodka and hangover

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