The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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