Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse

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(352): View more from Florida

I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.

(352): View more from Florida

Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me

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(818): View more from California

I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.

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(509): View more from Washington

I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.

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(409): View more from Texas

We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire

(213): View more from California

A hand job? Are you 12?

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