I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
