She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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