The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
