good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize