Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I supernannyed him into submission
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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