it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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