It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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