He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
