i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
