U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
