I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize