High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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