Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
