so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
