Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
