Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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