I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Randomize
