he puts the penis in happiness.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
