But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
its not stalking. its research.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize