capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
not ubering you a puppy
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
