are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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