the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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