She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Of course I have a pirate flag
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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