I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
