Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
