You really coming over, don't trick.
Welp...herpes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize