So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
MIDGETS
????
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
