Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
