last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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