Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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