boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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