We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That's intense
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
