Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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