why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
