I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
