New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
