I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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