I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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