I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
