Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize