So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
