it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
