Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize