At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
