Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
