why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
