Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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