Moan for me like Helen Keller
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
