4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
