I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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