There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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