i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
