Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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