i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
